At some point over the past few weeks, and I'm realizing this today. This evening. This very moment, actually. I got old.
Things that were important just a few months ago, aren't any more. Things I took for granted a year ago, I'm just realizing now. And it's this that is my wake up call that I'm not only an adult, but an old person. And by old person, I don't mean it's negative connotation that it tends to give. I mean, I'm learning more and more each day how little about life I know.
Simple things such as health, friendship, love, memories -- are things that make up life...things that make life worthwhile. And I won't begin to speak about how many of these things my life lacked over the years. It's too many and there isn't enough space in the interwebs for that. What I can speak to is how I'm evolving so much, that I recognize how little room I've made in my busy life for these things and how beautiful and important they are.
Most people my age feel like they've mastered these things. And I won't presume to think that I know better than them, but I don't think you can have a true understanding of the importance of these things unless you've been without the veil of illusion that you actually have them. What I mean, is because I've never felt like I had them in the past, I can see these simple things as more than a given.
Life is a choice. You can choose to live it any way you please. I choose not only to live mine with these simple things I've done without in the past, but also recognize the importance of the things that were oh, so important to me more recently. My circumstances are bound to change for the better and for the worse, I just hope that I can stay cognizant of them and grow with it. And that's how I will live my life without blah -- through true growth and vision as I grow older.
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I realized this morning as I sipped my coffee and watched The Today Show how weird it is that I'm no longer eating sugary cereal and watching cartoons...something I did even a year ago. Morning habits aside, I totally get what you mean. I just read a post from someone who is turning 35, and she was reflecting on how she knew NOTHING of life in her 20s, how she was preoccupied with petty things and wasted her life being self-conscious and not savoring the beauty life has to offer. I'd like to think I'm on my way to reaching that point, too. Also, it's hard not to feel jealous of people who are getting married (or who have been married for like 5 years or more by this point) and having kids, but...really? SUCH a huge commitment at THIS age? We haven't figured out jack shit yet. No wonder there's a new separation/divorce every time I log into facebook!
Hahaha, as soon as I clicked "post comment," my phone alarm started ringing - I apparently set an alert for myself that Cartoon Network is having Christmas in July programming all day tomorrow. [sigh] I'll never fully grow up, but I'm a little happy about that. :)
There is a lucky thing we get to realize as we are still in our twenties -- knocking on our thirties -- is that we are young enough, without too much commitment, that we still get to enjoy both sides. As we are turning into adults, we are starting to realize what life is and how beautiful that can be. But because we are still without too many commitments, we can still be young and "selfish." That usually carries a negative connotation (just as being "old" does), but as we are learning more about life, we also realize what a great thing selfishness can be. And should be.
So flip from The Today Show to Cartoon Network and enjoy the fact that you are able to do that...without guilt. When we reach "true" adulthood with all the responsibilities that those around us have now, recognize that we actually had it better because we will have savored our twenties while feeling like a teen and in our thrities as the same time!
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